their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
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I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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