I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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