i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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