So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
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I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
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This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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