i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
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all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize