a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize