Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
she told me i tasted like america
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Sorry about my life...
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
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