This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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