there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize