I am in a vortex of obligation.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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