See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
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You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
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should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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