Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Someone signed my nipple.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize