she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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