Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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