You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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