So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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