But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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