so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
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she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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