I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
my liver is dry heaving
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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