he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize