if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
im six kinds of drunk right now
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize