Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
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I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
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I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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