Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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