Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize