no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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