I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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