Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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