Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize