i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize