she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
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I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
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Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
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