my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I am one with the molecules
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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