i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Randomize