I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
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I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
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drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
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