Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize