Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
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You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
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I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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