u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
tell me about the fingering
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