physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
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Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
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Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
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