i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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