how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
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I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
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I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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