Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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