Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize