So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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