my soul wont recognize me after tonight
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
How does one acquire holy water?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize