Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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