why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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