Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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