i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
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i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
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you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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