dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize