Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
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I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
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I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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