you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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